How To Know If Your Friend Is A Time Traveler
This article was originally written by me two or more years ago in a facebook note. So, some of the references may seem dated. I just decided to repost it on my Medium account today.
There’s a popular book called “The Millionaire Next Door.” It teaches us that there are many millionaires all around us, who you may underestimate. Then, it tells us the lifestyle of such a person from how they save their money to what their family life looks like. What you find by reading the book is that you really can’t tell who is a millionaire and who is not except if you are looking for the right context clues.
In the same way, if time travelers were walking among us, would we be able to tell? If they are not wearing shiny, metallic jumpsuits and holding laser-shooting electronic devices, how would we be able to tell whether or not the guy sitting across from us at the lunch table has a time machine in the basement?
This question intrigues me. So, after giving this topic abnormally considerable thought, I came up with this list of 10 signs that could indicate that you may be in the presence of a time traveler!
#1. They try to warn the world of impending doom: Time traveling from the future has got to be the most frustrating thing ever. Why? Because you know the outcome of everything that is taking place. Sure, you could play the lottery, or make an investment, because you already know which bets are going to pay off. However, what about when terrible things are going to happen that nobody believes will take place. Think, warning the citizens of New Orleans that they should evacuate and people not listening. Or being Jesus and telling people you are the son of God and people trying to stone you…yea, it’s like that. So, when your friend starts rattling off apocalyptic warnings that sound far-fetched, instead of dismissing them as crazy or high, consider the possibility that you are in the presence of a time traveler!
Billionaire Elon Musk often makes cryptic warnings about a dangerous future where Artificial Intelligence destroys mankind. Could he be in possession of a Time Machine?
#2. They always seem to recognize a paradigm shift way in advance: Do you have a friend that seems a little too confident that there is a change on the horizon? Did he try to tell you about Bitcoin’s rise, or crash but you thought it sounded far-fetched…until it happened?! Is she always the first person in your circle of friends to know about something big that is about to happen? You might want to ask her for her birth certificate, because she might be from the future!
Are their time travelers in “The Simpsons” writers rooms?
#3. They develop a new and disruptive technology out of nowhere: People invent things all the time, but for various reasons, not all of the inventions take off. However, every now and then, the right invention comes along at exactly the right time and gains a critical mass of people using it and the world is changed forever! Why does this happen for some people, and not for others? Many people from Malcolm Gladwell to Jonah Burger have hypothesized about how things go viral. But could the answer lie in a person from the future who knows exactly what is to come and the right conditions that must occur to tip the odds in their favor?
Could these unlikely success stories have started with a time machine?
#4. They bet on something that is a long shot, and profit disproportionately from its success: Do you have a friend who doesn’t bet often, but when he does he bets all his chips on the underdog… Do you have a friend who doesn’t bet often, but when he does he bets all his chips on the underdog…and wins every time?! This is a sure sign of a time traveler. Nobody knows the future, but if you have a time machine, it would be easy to make boat loads of money. As a time traveler, you know in advance where people, their emotions and money will go next. So, it is a simple matter of being there to cash in on other people’s underestimations. If you know the reigning champ is fighting a losing battle, but everyone is betting on him; a good time traveler places his bet on the victory of the underdog. Did your friend pull out of the Bitcoin market, just before it’s quick and decisive crash? Watch him closely, you just might catch him hopping back into his time machine!
In 2008, how many people would have guessed that parents would feel more comfortable sending a stranger to pick up their kids than letting their friend drive them home after a party? Maybe the founders of Uber (founded in 2009) can make a ride share app for their time machines next!
#5. They save a life in the nick of time, or Narrowly escape death: Do you have a friend who was supposed to be on a flight that crashed, but decided not to take the trip? Or maybe your friend just Do you have a friend who was supposed to be on a flight that crashed, but decided not to take the trip? Or maybe your friend just happened to be in the woods with a first aid kit, when an abandoned, abductee was fighting for their life… In matters of life and death, being their at an opportune time makes all the difference. Look out for those friends who always seems to call and/or show up exactly when you are in danger (or about to do something stupid!)
Mamoudou Gassama, a Malian immigrant, climbed four storeys up the side of a building to save a dangling child in Paris. Could he be this child’s guardian angel from the future who came to that point at the right time, because his unique skills were needed? All we know is that behind every superhero is a super secret.
#6. They disappear for a while, and then come back: Do you have a cousin or friend who you have not heard from in a while, but who suddenly shows up years later as if nothing happened? Perhaps there is someone you know who shows up for short intervals sprinkled across years. You met her in the cafeteria in college, and hung out on an almost daily basis for an entire semester, but then she disappeared after summer break. Then, you see her at the line at Starbucks in your home town, and you guys decide to strike up that old friendship again…until she takes off for the second time! Now, oh wait! There she is sitting next to you on an airplane. Never once does she feel the need to explain where she keeps disappearing to. Maybe she’ll explain it another Do you have a cousin or friend who you have not heard from in a while, but who suddenly shows up years later as if nothing happened? Perhaps there is someone you know who shows up for short intervals sprinkled across years. You met her in the cafeteria in college, and hung out on an almost daily basis for an entire semester, but then she disappeared after summer break. Then, you see her at the line at Starbucks in your home town, and you guys decide to strike up that old friendship again…until she takes off for the second time! Now, oh wait! There she is sitting next to you on an airplane. Never once does she feel the need to explain where she keeps disappearing to. Maybe she’ll explain it another time…in the future!
Where exactly did Will Smith and his family go between the time Hollywood wrote them off as washed up because of the movie he made with is son in 2013, and now where we see his family taking over social media? Could it have been to the future…to restrategize?!
#7. They exhibit strange or paranoid appearing behavior: Does your friend freak out a lot about things that haven’t happened yet? Her tin foil hat might just be more relevant that you realize. If she knows what is going to happen (or what is happening), she could be protecting herself from things that you don’t even see coming!
Kanye West got on the Trump train very early and very publicly. This was highly unorthodox behavior from a man who historically has made statements aggressively pushing against White Supremacy in all its permutations. Is there something he knows that we do not?
#8. They say or do something that seems really random or out of place: “I know this is a pizza parlor, but I don’t want any pizza!” Does your friend do things that seem out of place? Does he go places and behave in ways that disregard etiquette or convention? Like the time she took her laptop to the night club, or when she decided to rearrange all the magazines at the grocery store. Is he wearing shorts in the winter or underwear on top of his trousers? Maybe those things are not so weird… Does your friend do things that seem out of place? Does he go places and behave in ways that disregard etiquette or convention? Like the time she took her laptop to the night club, or when she decided to rearrange all the magazines at the grocery store. Is he wearing shorts in the winter or underwear on top of his trousers? Maybe those things are not so weird…in the time period he’s coming from!
Remember that time Lady Gaga wore an outfit made of raw meat? Will we all be doing that in the year 3018?
#9. They have unexplainable insights or information about various subject matter: Do you have a friend who never seems to know anything that happened on the news, or TV or current events; but they always seem to have the right answer or solution for everything! They don’t have a TV or computer in their house, but seems to always be appropriately dressed for the weather… Do you have a friend who never seems to know anything that happened on the news, or TV or current events; but they always seem to have the right answer or solution for everything! They don’t have a TV or computer in their house, but seems to always be appropriately dressed for the weather…why are you carrying an umbrella, Malcolm?! How did you know it would rain if you didn’t hear the forecast?!
Most people will agree that Warren Buffett is the greatest investor in the world, but could his powers of predicting the best investments be coming from the future? How did he know Bitcoin would fail with so little knowledge of the technology?
#10. They exhibit emotionally inappropriate behavior: A time traveler from the future already knows what will happen. So, when we are surprised, they are more likely feeling amused, annoyed, frustrated or something else that doesn’t seem to make sense. Not to mention, if they came from the past, things that seem obvious to us probably seem shocking to them.
Maybe there are no balloons in the future
What do you think? Do you agree with this list? Do you think I missed a few signs? Are any of your friends looking more and more like a time traveler? Share your thoughts in the comment section, and remember: Einstein proved time travel is possible, so either he’s a liar or they’re all hiding! Stay skeptical!
